Kokinshu #296

[lnhammer]

(from the same contest)

    When in autumn
I go by Mt. Mimuro,
    sacred to the gods,
I've the feeling of donning
a robe cut from rich brocade.

—20 August 2012

Original by Mibu no Tadamine. Another variation on a standard conceit from Tadamine, more successful than many of his. Same kannabi and mimuro as #284, though here the syntax makes it harder to read both as generic attributes. Pivot-word: tachikiru is "put on" and "cut up" -- jointing up the syntax requires supplying the implied clothing, here "robe." "Rich" is interpretive, added in part to reproduce the alliteration of the last line.


kannabi no
mimuro no yama o
aki yukeba
nishiki tachikiru
kokochi koso sure

---L.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, I have to ask: why "go by Mt. Mimuro"? Why for example not "go through Mt. Mimuro" or "go to Mt. Mimuro"? --Matt

[lnhammer]

Because "through" doesn't make physical sense, while for "to," can o mark the destination of a verb of motion? I thought it indicated the location of the motion, and "by" is the only English preposition I can think of that fits that sense.

---L.

[(Anonymous)]

First: Today, that first comment seems a bit more confrontational than I intended, sorry.

This must be an English dialect thing. For me, "through" can mean both "go through the mountain literally, via tunnel etc." but also "go through the area corresponding to the mountain on a map", i.e. walk up and down the paths on top of the mountain, as naturally as you'd say "go through Central Park". Whereas "by" feels strange to me because, on reflection, I seem to interpret it as something like "near", or at least "an incidental stop not related to the main journey" (as in "If you go by the bakery [too], would you get some bread?"). Interesting!

You're right that "to" wouldn't quite match the "o". But I think it would be poetically acceptable. You have to go to somewhere first before you can go by/through it...

Did you ever consider reading this poem as if "aki" were the subject of "yuku"? When autumn goes by/through the mountain... I don't think I've ever seen a Japanese commentary raising the possibility so maybe it isn't possible, but I think I like it more than the standard (er, correct) interpretation. --Matt

[lnhammer]

Heh, okay, yeah -- this may be a dialectical distinction thing. I'll play around with the prepositions again.

And yes, I did consider reading it as it's autumn going (vicinity) the mountains -- I decided on the speaker because not switching pronouns makes the emotional through-line more compact. But the other reading would make for a more interesting image.

(No #297 today, because I can tell I STILL haven't landed it as an English poem. Bringing out Tsurayuki's snark is hard, in that one.)

---L.

[(Anonymous)]

Relevant. (http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=4167) --Matt

[lnhammer]

Heh. Yup.

---L.