Wednesday, 6 April 2011

Kokinshu #822

Wednesday, 6 April 2011 07:05
lnhammer: the Chinese character for poetry, red on white background (Default)
Topic unknown.

    Like rice in the field
meeting the chill autumn wind,
    losing your interest
and favor is bitter indeed.
Since I feel I've become useless ...

—6-14 January 2011

Original by Ono no Komachi. I struggled over this one more than any other of Komachi's poems (even #938 and #1030) because the pivot-words (aki = "autumn" / "being tired of" and ta no mi="grain of the rice-field" / tanomi="favor") create two separate but overlaid phrases describing what's bitter: "ears of rice met by autumn winds" and "the favors met from (one who is) tired (of me)". The overlay creates in an implicit comparison, which I made an explicit simile; the interpolated "chill" has less justification, though. And then there's how to handle ending with a conjunction meaning "because" without a consequent clause ...


akikaze ni
au ta no mi koso
kanashikeri
waga mi munashiku
narinu to omoeba


---L.

About

Warning: contents contain line-breaks.

As language practice, I like to translate poetry. My current project is Chinese, with practice focused on Tang Dynasty poetry. Previously this was classical Japanese, most recently working through the Kokinshu anthology (archived here). Suggestions, corrections, and questions always welcome.

There's also original pomes in the journal archives.

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