Kokinshu #235
Wednesday, 18 April 2012 07:09 (from the same contest)
People seeing you --
is it that that's so painful,
O maidenflower,
that you thus conceal yourself
in the rising autumn mists?
hito no miru
koto ya kurushiki
ominaeshi
akigiri ni nomi
tachikakururamu
---L.
People seeing you --
is it that that's so painful,
O maidenflower,
that you thus conceal yourself
in the rising autumn mists?
—15 April 2012
Original by Mibu no Tadamine. Wordplay: the tachi- prefix is essentially an intensifier to kakuru, "to be concealed" with the flowers as subject, but if detached it would be a "rising" for the autumn mist. I've brought that overtone forward by double-translating it like a pivot-word, even though it isn't one. I think I would be more charmed by the modesty conceit if this hadn't come after so many other maidenflower poems.hito no miru
koto ya kurushiki
ominaeshi
akigiri ni nomi
tachikakururamu
---L.