Presented at Parting #2, Du Mu (Tang Shi #296)

[lnhammer]

I feel so much though I seem unfeeling:
I wake by the wine-jar but can’t even smile
A candle with a heart’s reluctant to part—
In my place it drips down tears until dawn.

赠别之二
多情却似总无情，
唯觉樽前笑不成。
蜡烛有心还惜别，
替人垂泪到天明。

“Wick” and “heart” are homophones (xīn).

—L.

Comments

[sovay]

A candle with a heart’s reluctant to part—

That's good.

[lnhammer]

I like the image and vehicle, but not what my last-minute revision did to the rhythm. :marks it as to be worked on:

[sovay]

I like the image and vehicle, but not what my last-minute revision did to the rhythm.

I like the rhythm. What was it pre-revision?

[lnhammer]

Hrm. Now I can't recover it. :still twiddling with variations: