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formerly A Desert Year: 12 September
Roundly bright above
as the sun reflects off its
uneven surface,
below, heavy shadow gray:
growing storm or granite stone?
A failure, so much of one that so far every single reader has failed to get what I was trying for. So it's on the way out, but I'm posting it on the off chance anyone has any suggestions for how fixing it that I can't see -- or of some shard that can be rescued. The basic conceit is that a growing thunderhead, bright with sun above and dark underneath, made me think of a white granite boulder. "Roundly" is completely the wrong word, yes, but I was trying to convey that pillowy shape of the cloud.
---L.
as the sun reflects off its
uneven surface,
below, heavy shadow gray:
growing storm or granite stone?
A failure, so much of one that so far every single reader has failed to get what I was trying for. So it's on the way out, but I'm posting it on the off chance anyone has any suggestions for how fixing it that I can't see -- or of some shard that can be rescued. The basic conceit is that a growing thunderhead, bright with sun above and dark underneath, made me think of a white granite boulder. "Roundly" is completely the wrong word, yes, but I was trying to convey that pillowy shape of the cloud.
---L.