Kokinshu #126
Wednesday, 24 August 2011 07:07![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lnhammer Written as a spring poem.
A few closest friends
flocking to the springtime hills,
staying overnight
wherever we decide to --
if only we could do that!
omoudochi
haru no yama-be ni
uchimurete
soko to mo iwanu
tabine shite shika
---L.
A few closest friends
flocking to the springtime hills,
staying overnight
wherever we decide to --
if only we could do that!
—28 July 2011
Original by Sosei. The original reads as a straightforward descriptive statement until you reach the final shika, a strongly desiderative particle. In standard English word order, the statement of desire goes at the beginning ("If only we could ... "). I ended up reproducing the suspensive effect, but deciding it is more important to convey the smooth syntax of Sosei's deliberate "direct style" would also be a valid choice. "Wherever we decide to" is idiomatic rather than literal (it's cast in the negative in the original).omoudochi
haru no yama-be ni
uchimurete
soko to mo iwanu
tabine shite shika
---L.