A Desert Year: 6 August

[lnhammer]

    The morning commute
under the broken gray clouds
    suddenly lightened
by a bit of bright rainbow
just above the western trees.

—6 August 2009

True story.

ETA: Revision to sharpen the language and clarify the image:

    The morning commute
under the broken gray clouds
    suddenly lightened
by a fragment of rainbow
bright above the western trees.

---L.

Comments

[lnhammer]

Hmm. Now I'm pondering editing it to "by a fragment of rainbow" -- "bright" is a bit too generic, and "bit" isn't conveying the sliverness of the arc.

Decisions, decisions.

---L.

[ex_asakiyume313]

I like your possible edit, though I liked your original as well.

from manifest clouds
and hidden sun
rainbow birth

I can imagine how heartening it would be to look up and see a rainbow on a gray, gray day.

[lnhammer]

I'm still thinking about it.

---L.