A Desert Year: 2 September

[lnhammer]

    Thick air lies heavy
palm fronds listlessly rustle
    under still, dark clouds
in the west, a sunset layer
smolders purple and orange

—2 September 2009

I typically don't use non-standard punctuation, and haven't for others in the sequence, but I see good way to point this that doesn't destroy the syntactic ambiguity of the third line, which can be read as part of either the previous or following clause -- a true "pivot phrase" if not word. Any suggestions?

---L.