A Desert Year: 6 September
Wednesday, 9 September 2009 09:53![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lnhammer The butterflies know
that zinnias cannot wait,
that the goldeneyes,
sunflowers, and asters stop
when the thunderstorms depart.
This may be too much process notes ...
* Okay, technically it started as a note: "happy zinnias; happy, too, the butterfly".
---L.
that zinnias cannot wait,
that the goldeneyes,
sunflowers, and asters stop
when the thunderstorms depart.
—6 September 2009
This started* as a second envoy to the choka exercise, which I removed for undercutting the main poem too much and being too tangential. To make it stand alone, I replaced the original lines 3-4, which were about bees on the creosote, because other poems in the Desert Year cycle don't use the heavy parallelism common in pre-classical Japanese poetry, or use more subtly. This gave me the space for a catalog of evocative names that feel good in the mouth, a trope I am using. Possibly too much.This may be too much process notes ...
* Okay, technically it started as a note: "happy zinnias; happy, too, the butterfly".
---L.