lnhammer: the Chinese character for poetry, red on white background (Default)
[personal profile] lnhammer
A gauze sleeve stirs the incense smoke unceasingly,
Red lotus blossoms spiral up the autumn mist.
Soft clouds upon the mountain suddenly shake in the wind,
Light willows by the pond begin to brush the water.

赠张云容舞
罗袖动香香不已,
红蕖袅袅秋烟里。
轻云岭上乍摇风,
嫩柳池边初拂水。

Yang Yuhuan, also known as Yang Guifei (“Consort Yang”), was a musician, legendary beauty, and the last principal consort of Emperor Xuanzong; her death during the An Lushan Rebellion was memorialized in "Song of Everlasting Sorrow". And as I was looking through the massive Complete Tang Poetry anthology, I stumbled across a poem attributed to her.

I like the opening out from an indoor scene into effects on the outside world, the expanding then contracting scales, and the interlocking parallels of smoke | wind || mist | water. It's not a profound poem, but it's both graceful and intricately constructed. The yun of the dancer's name is cloud, but I don't think the clouds in the poem are supposed to represent her -- the clouds are acted upon, while her dancing is otherwise the agent of all the motion.

(I did, btw, come across a poem by the dancer.)

---L.

Date: 17 July 2019 19:55 (UTC)
sovay: (Haruspex: Autumn War)
From: [personal profile] sovay
A gauze sleeve stirs the incense smoke unceasingly,
Red lotus blossoms spiral up the autumn mist.


That's beautifully vivid.

Date: 17 July 2019 20:19 (UTC)
sovay: (Default)
From: [personal profile] sovay
The incense, btw, is intense -- it's the duplicated 香香 in the first line.

Nice!

I almost went with "thick incense" but that feels like it modifies the image too much.

"A gauze sleeve stirs the thick incense unceasingly" works for me. I might actually like it better for sound. It's less expected than simply "incense smoke."

Date: 17 July 2019 21:59 (UTC)
thawrecka: (Default)
From: [personal profile] thawrecka
I think one of the things I really like about these classic Chinese poems is all the details of nature and effect upon the natural world. It really is graceful! And a nice contrast to current trends in English language writing, which are increasingly brusque.

About

Warning: contents contain line-breaks.

As language practice, I like to translate poetry. My current project is Chinese, with practice focused on Tang Dynasty poetry. Previously this was classical Japanese, most recently working through the Kokinshu anthology (archived here). Suggestions, corrections, and questions always welcome.

There's also original pomes in the journal archives.

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