Winter Advice

[lnhammer]

—for Greer Gilman

When gall the spirits still
    from tender love plucked strait,
your crack-mazed cup completely fill
    for one taste sweetens fate.

When honey they draw out
    from air and darkness whole,
accept their pot with its cracked spout--
    it sours the bitter soul.

But pot and cup take one
    and never surfeit more--
that aftertaste of liquor gone
    must last till hair is hoar.

—15-17 June 2009

Context is here. I am Not Yet Happy with the syntax of the third stanza -- and it's that which keeps it from really working as sub-Housman. I may need to strip it out and write a new version from scratch.

---L.

Comments

[ex_asakiyume313]

This is beautiful.

I don't know what a sub-Housman is, though I'm sure a quick Google search would/will give me the answer. But I love what you've done with Greer's line. And especially love your last two lines.

[lnhammer]

sub-Housman = in imitation of A.E. Housman

I like the last two lines -- it's the one before it that bugs me more and more.

---L.