Kokinshu #69
Sunday, 10 April 2011 09:13![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lnhammerOn to book 2, the second book of spring. If you need a refresher, the most recent drafts of book 1 are here.
Topic unknown.
Are cherry blossoms
in the mountains with spring mists
trailing across them
starting to change color
because they're about to fall?
harugasumi
tanabiku yama no
sakurabana
utsurowamu to ya
iro kawari-yuku
---L.
Topic unknown.
Are cherry blossoms
in the mountains with spring mists
trailing across them
starting to change color
because they're about to fall?
—16 January 2011
Original author unknown. Yes, the cherry blossoms are still being ephemeral. Here's one where the missing case-marking particles for the mist and the flowers were confusing enough I struggled to understand the basic meaning. My attempts to keep the progression of images, which are part of the poem's effect, led to rotten English and were discarded; for disclosure, the substantives are in order: spring mist - trailing - mountain - cherry blossom - probably fall - color - start to change. Attempts to maintain the ambiguity that it could be the mists that change color (because of the flowers seen through them are fading) also failed.harugasumi
tanabiku yama no
sakurabana
utsurowamu to ya
iro kawari-yuku
---L.