Kokinshu #244

(from the same contest)

    Is it I alone
who thinks, "Ah -- so moving!"?
    Japanese wild pinks
in the shadows of evening
when the crickets are chirping.

—3 May 2012

Original by Sosei. While I've mentioned several times how Tomonori often writes with the sort of beauty that doesn't translate well, Sosei's another poet where the sound of his language is a factor -- but where Tomonori goes for graceful clarity, Sosei is often lush. Here, there's all these w- and y- syllables heavy on the u's and o's interrupted by a middle line of k/g/r + i, augmented by a poetic term for "twilight." Both the kirigirisu and nadeshiko, another of the seven flowers of autumn, are momentary returns (see #196 and #167). Overtone to be aware of: from at least the time of the Man'yoshu, yamato nadeshiko ("Japanese wild pink") was used as a term for a beloved woman (and today refers to the traditional ideal of a feminine woman). I'm not sure whether to understand kage as emphasizing the evening light or evening shadow -- the context of the season suggests the latter, but the former would be more striking.


ware nomi ya
aware to omowamu
kirigirisu
naku yuukage no
yamato nadeshiko

---L.