Song of Resentment, Meng Jiao

[lnhammer]

Let’s test my lord’s and this one’s tears
By dripping them in our two ponds,
Then see when choosing lotus blooms
This year because of whose have died?

怨诗
试妾与君泪，
两处滴池水。
看取芙蓉花，
今年为谁死。

Yes, that "this year" is misplaced from the usual place for an adverb, but it's also misplaced in the original. Haven't found a way to reword it that moves it up without a really bad line break. Meh.

ETA
Later, when choosing lotus blooms,
We’ll see because of that whose died.

---L.

Comments

[llonkrebboj]

A signature of old style poems is nonconformity to structure and regulated rhyme, so they do tend to roll off the tongue with some challenge!

Hope you don't mind me having some fun xD The vibes are cool for this one!

testing tears, mine and yours
in two places, dripped into ponds
just watch the lotus flowers -
this year, whose causes theirs to die?

[lnhammer]

:applause: