Hyakunin Isshu #96

[lnhammer]

    Here in the garden,
this isn't snow but flowers
    lured by the storm winds,
and that which falls is indeed
the years upon my body.

—14 August 2010

Original by Fujiwara no Kintsune, brother-in-law of Teika (#97). Pivot: furi = "to fall" (as in precipitate) / furi-yuki = "to grow old" -- I interpolated "the years upon" to replicate the same pun within "falls". Similar conceit to #9, only with self-pity instead of regret, and far less lovely and dense.


hana sasou
arashi no niwa no
yuki narade
furiyuki mono wa
waga mi narikeri

---L.

Comments

[jonquil]

It interests me that you say this; this one caught me by the throat, most especially "the years upon my body".

[lnhammer]

Interesting to hear it's that kind of effective.

"Years" is not explicit in the original -- it's my way of handling with the intense punning involved in furiyuki, which contains "to fall" (in the sense of precipitate) / "to get old" plus components of "snow" (repeated) and "to go/die".

---L.

[jonquil]

Curious -- do you love British-style cryptic crosswords?

[lnhammer]

I've enjoyed helping my mother struggle with them, but rarely get around to working on them myself. I'm better at clueless crosswording games like Scrabble.

---L.